The Something Guy’s Ultimate Dad Joke Archive

0 0

Some of these jokes couldn’t be less funny—but I can’t help loving them anyway.

Sure, I roll my eyes or groan whenever my dad unleashes his unique sense of humour, but let’s be honest—I secretly enjoy it. Only a dad can keep telling bad jokes with zero concern about whether anyone else finds them funny. It’s that persistence, paired with the sheer cringe factor, that somehow turns those terrible jokes into something great.

So, I’ve pulled together a list of the corniest, lamest, and most brilliantly awful dad jokes out there and trust me, you don’t have to be a dad to laugh at these!

10 Technological Bad Dad Jokes

• Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?!
• How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
• Patient: Doctor, I think I’m addicted to checking my Twitter! Doctor: I’m sorry, I don’t follow.
• Why did the band 1023 Megabytes split up? They couldn’t get a gig.
• My computer said hello to me. What make is it? A Dell.
• Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide.
• Dad, what are clouds made of? Linux servers, mostly.
• What was the computer’s favourite snack? Microchips, memory sticks, and cookies. But just a few bytes of each.
• Why was the computer late for work? It had a hard drive.
• A friend phoned me and asked what I was doing. I told him I’m probably failing my driving test.

10 Sporty Bad Dad Jokes

• What are the rules for zebra baseball? Three stripes and you’re out.
• Why do so many tennis players get divorced? Love means nothing to them.
• I played 18 holes today. What did you get? A birdy, 2 squirrels, and a frog.
• What should you give a soccer player on his birthday? A red card.
• As a British person, do you know why I don’t like American Football? They rugby up the wrong way.
• China should have a cricket team. They can take out the world with one bat.
• Do racing drivers ever stop during a race? Yes, when they are getting tired.
• How do basketball players keep cool on the court? They play right next to the fans.
• What do hockey players do when they meet an opponent? They break the ice.
• I was watching women’s volleyball and there was a wrist injury. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.

10 Delicious Bad Dad Jokes

• Why did the bread loaf have an attitude? It was sourdough.
• Why do the French love snails? Because they don’t eat fast food!
• Man: Waiter, will my pizza be long? Waiter: No, it will be round.
• What cheese is made backwards? Edam.
• Why did the bagel fly? Because it was a plain bagel.
• A burger walks into a bar. Bartender: Sorry, we don’t serve food here.
• Can I tell you a vegan joke? I promise it won’t be cheesy.
• My child doesn’t eat meat, what should I substitute it with? A dog, dogs eat meat.
• I make my own pizza dough. I’d love to see you top that.
• What did the Maki say to the Nigiri? Wasabi!

10 Musical Bad Dad Jokes

• What type of music are balloons afraid of? Pop music.
• What music do mummies love to listen to? Rap.
• What part of your body is the most musical? Your nose because you can pick it and blow it.
• What’s the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can’t tune a fish.
• Why did the musician get arrested? He got into treble.
• What’s the cleanest type of music? A soap opera.
• An orchestra was hit by lightning. Only the conductor died.
• Did you hear the music teacher’s car was keyed? Luckily, the damage seems to B Minor.
• What do you say to the triangle player after the show? Thanks for every ting.
• Why do vegetables listen to music? To hear the beet drop.