
Alright, let’s talk about the most goth thing to ever swim through the ocean—the vampire squid. With a name like Vampyroteuthis infernalis, which literally translates to “vampire squid from hell,” you know we’re in for something epic. This little sea weirdo is more goth than your high school mate who wore black nail polish and quoted song lyrics about eternal darkness.
First things first, despite the spooky name, the vampire squid isn’t out there sucking blood like some underwater Dracula. Nope, this guy is actually a scavenger. It’s more like a clean-up crew for the ocean depths. Instead of chasing down prey, it snacks on marine snow—tiny bits of dead stuff, poop, and whatever’s floating around. Fancy, huh? Think of it as the Marie Kondo of the abyss, tidying up where others wouldn’t dare.


Now let’s get into what makes the vampire squid look like it rolled straight out of a Tim Burton film. For starters, it’s got this cloak-like webbing that connects its arms, making it look like it’s wearing the most dramatic cape you’ve ever seen. When it gets freaked out, it pulls that cape over itself in a move that screams, “Leave me alone; I’m too fabulous for this.” And those eyes? Massive and either red or blue, depending on the light. It’s like the ultimate moody stare that says, “I’ve seen things you wouldn’t understand.”
Here’s another thing—this squid lives in the deep ocean, at depths where sunlight is basically a rumour. We’re talking 600 to 900 metres down, in a zone called the oxygen minimum layer. If the ocean were a club, this would be the VIP lounge, and only the hardcore creatures get in. The vampire squid thrives here because it’s got these crazy adaptations like gills that are extra efficient and a metabolism slower than your mate getting out of bed on a Sunday morning.


But wait, there’s more. The vampire squid doesn’t squirt ink like its squid and octopus cousins. Instead, it releases a sticky, bioluminescent mucus that glows in the dark. It’s like saying, “Catch me if you can,” while leaving a glitter trail. Iconic. And if that wasn’t enough, its whole body is covered in light-producing organs called photophores, which it uses to camouflage or put on a light show to confuse predators. Imagine a rave, but underwater, and you’ve got the vibe.
Now, let’s be real: the vampire squid is the ultimate deep-sea underdog. It’s not out there trying to be the big boss of the ocean. It’s just vibing, doing its thing, and keeping the ocean floor tidy. And honestly, that’s kind of inspiring. Not every hero wears a cape…unless you’re a vampire squid, in which case you wear a cape and bioluminescent glitter.
So, what’s the lesson here? The vampire squid might look like a creature from your nightmares, but it’s just a chill, misunderstood little guy cleaning up the ocean while looking fabulous. It’s proof that you don’t have to be a shark to make a difference—you just have to own your weirdness and light up the dark.
Check out this video from Natural World Facts for even more interesting footage of the Vampire Squid in action.