55 Taylor Swift Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Like a True Swiftie
These 55 hilarious Taylor Swift jokes will have every Swiftie laughing, from funny takes on her songs to jokes about her iconic moments, guaranteed to brighten your day!
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Read Time:5 Minute, 11 Second
If there’s one person who’s everywhere these days, it’s Taylor Swift. From being TIME’s 2023 Person of the Year to leading the highest-grossing stadium tour ever, she’s practically a living legend. With over a dozen chart-topping albums, countless awards, and the undeniable charm of her three beloved cats, Taylor’s captured our hearts—and the world’s attention.
As Swifties (and even those who just can’t escape the magic), we’ve come together to celebrate our fave artist. We’ve rounded up 55 hilarious, quirky jokes that will have fans, casual listeners, and even the haters feeling all the feels—whether they’re happy, free, confused, or lonely all at once. Get ready to laugh like you’re feeling 22.
Taylor Swift Jokes That Will Make You Swiftly Laugh
- Is Taylor’s favourite lipstick colour Red? Nah, it’s more like Maroon.
- What did Taylor say when TIME asked her to be “Person of the Year?” “I’m gonna be Timeless!”
- How did Travis Kelce introduce himself to Taylor? By sending her a Message in a Bottle!
- What kind of trees does Taylor climb in the song “Seven?” Willow trees, obviously!
- Good thing Travis Kelce doesn’t play for the 49ers! She’d be like, “I hate a Gold Rush.”
- When does Taylor pray? Only when she’s on Holy Ground!
- Does Taylor miss dating that London Boy? Nope, she’s living her best Miss Americana life!
- What would Taylor say when a fight gets too heated? “You Need to Calm Down!”
- Does Taylor draw out the plans for her Easter eggs? “I Think We Know!”
- Do her exes think of her often? Only when she’s on TV!
- When did we know the Eras Tour would be a success? “On the Very First Night!”
- What did Taylor warn Kanye after releasing Reputation? “I Did Something Bad…”
- Who were Taylor’s co-stars in Cats? Olivia, Meredith, and Benjamin!
- What song would be perfect after “Tolerate It” on the Eras Tour? “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things!”
- By the time the 1989 set ended on the Eras Tour, what did I ask? “Is It Over Now?”
- Why does Taylor write so many songs about her mama? Because she listens to all her drama!
- What cards are most likely in Taylor’s poker hand? The Joker and The Queen!
- Did Taylor and Joe start dating in late November of 2016? Call it what you want, but yeah!
- Does Taylor like Paper Rings? Nah, she prefers something more Bejeweled!
- What if Taylor had fought in the Great War? She’d have been the bravest soldier, hands down.
- Do Swifties drink cheap-ass screw-top rosé at the bar? Yeah, it hits different!
- Why does Taylor root for the Anti-Hero? Because they killed off the main guy!
- What color are Taylor’s eyes? Catastrophic blue!
- Why do people think Taylor is either single or married? Because all people are either a one-night or a wife!
- What happened when Travis and Taylor were introduced? She was enchanted to meet him!
- What would happen if Taylor entered the Hunger Games? She wouldn’t be Safe and Sound!
- Why hasn’t Taylor written a movie yet? Because the greatest films haven’t been made.
- Is Taylor a beach person? Nope, she prefers The Lakes!
- Did Travis and Taylor get together by following their invisible string? Nope, Kelce masterminded his way in!
- What’s Taylor’s favourite animal? Definitely snakes, right?
- Why are Selena Gomez and Taylor’s bestie codenames Dorothea and Betty? Because that’s how the story goes!
- Does Taylor have a stage dive during the Eras Tour? Yup, right after the acoustic section—she’ll Jump Then Fall!
- What did Taylor name the two deer living in her backyard? John and Reader!
- How long would Taylor give Joe Jonas to apologise for his rude breakup? 27 seconds. That’s it.
- Why does Taylor live in apartments and estates? Because all her Castles Crumble down!
- Where did Taylor most likely write Midnights? In Paris, duh.
- What pep talk would Taylor give Travis during his football games? “Shake it off, man!”
- What insulting name does Taylor not mind being called anymore? “Slut”—yep, she’s over it.
- What song did Taylor write for all the songwriters on Speak Now? “Me!”
- Does Taylor cut her cats’ nails? Absolutely, she’d rather not suffer a Death By A Thousand Cuts!
- How do Swifties decorate for New Year’s Day? With a Mirrorball!
- Why isn’t Taylor a waitress? I don’t think she could Tolerate It!
- Did Taylor get another handful of Grammy nominations? Yeah, but that’s Nothing New!
- Why hasn’t Taylor moved to Antarctica for space from the media? Nothing’s worth that Forever Winter.
- Remember when Taylor and Taylor Lautner were in Valentine’s Day? What a pair of Suburban Legends!
- Where was the last time you saw Taylor last summer? Drunk in the back of the car!
- Taylor Swift loves fairytales, but not enough to wait for a White Horse!
- How could you tell Taylor was in a bad mood? By all the Teardrops on her Guitar!
- What happened to the boy Taylor wrote “Electric Touch” about? They had a Fall Out!
- Do you know what the red scarf represents in “All Too Well?” Taylor being Innocent.
- Which month was the hardest for Taylor last year? August, or maybe December.
- Do you think Travis and Taylor will make it? Oh yeah, they’re my End Game!
- What song would Taylor most likely sing in the back of a cop car? “Dancing With Our Hands Tied.”
- Why did the Eras Tour go on through the rain? Because Taylor loves to dance in a storm, in her best Fearless style.
- Why is Taylor Swift so inspirational? Because she teaches Swifties how to Speak Now.
There you have it! Whether you’re feeling enchanted by Taylor’s music, loving her latest success, or just want to add a little Swiftie magic to your day, these jokes have you covered. Don’t forget to share them and let your squad know you’re ready for it—just like Taylor always is!
