Creating a God: The Holy Order of The Claw

There is a new religion gaining traction that you might not have heard about as yet, one that is actively creating their own visible God to worship. The Holy Order of The Claw.  They are a rapidly growing religious order dedicated to The Clawed One, The Holiest of Crustaceans, and the Molter of Life. Yes, a Lobster.

Currently, they are welcoming people from all walks of life to join their order, diversity and inclusion are key. At the same time, they are a community-based organisation that actively tries to make the world around us a better place, for Lobsters.

So what exactly is The Holy Order of The Claw, and what does it have to do with Lobsters?

Their aim is to create a lobster god over generations by giving a lobster help and assistance to create ideal conditions to keep growing. Lobsters don’t die of old age like us, and therefore there is no theoretical limit to their size…

Through generations of assistance, they can technically create a living breathing being to worship right? Well, perhaps.

Their Facebook page ‘Plans to create and worship our leviathan lobster god.’ (https://www.facebook.com/groups/560665388170838/) has already received 117K members at the time of this article.

They also have a website http://www.holyorderoftheclaw.com where you can read up on their confessions, holy mass, and also their 8 ‘Holy Clawmandments’.

  1. The Clawed One, The Holy Shellfishness, is a genderless being. They are above our archaic constructs of gender. Any genderization of The Clawed One is a sin.
  2. Treat everyone how they would like to be treated.
  3. Love thyself.
  4. Treat and love everyday, knowing that our lives are free from rubber band restraints
  5. Shells must be discarded when they are no longer useful, metaphorically as well as physically.
  6. All followers must recycle and work to cut down on pollution in order to honor the lobster god.
  7. No consumption without ceremony. If thou shall choose to consume lobster, a piece must be left out for our lord. As lobsters consume lobsters, so too are we permitted to follow in the god Lobsters foot steps. Give thanks and offerings, whenever lobster is consumed. 
  8. No raw broccoli on Thursday.

Even though they are not an officially registered religious organisation (yet), the internet has been abuzz with what this could potentially mean. Mainly a breeding ground for jokes, and memes (not giant-sized lobsters!)

But with every religion, you need just one or two people to believe, and some far-fetched story oh and a dream.

Who knows what will be next for these cult members, I mean religious members. All the best to their journey for their leviathan lobster god.

Thank you for reading… #TheSomethingGuy #SouthAfrica #Blog

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