How To Survive Being Injured On An Alien Planet.

Picture this. Somehow, through years of scientific research. Through billions of dogecoin Crypto spent on the latest technology. Through all that could ever be imagined, you, YES YOU, end up injured on a foreign alien planet.

I am saying foreign alien planet like we have another planet that is not considered foreign… Anyways. You somehow end up on a planet. You injured yourself. For this analogy let’s just pretend you were delivering zoo biscuits to planet Mars. We humans have already streamlined the biscuit markets to Mars because Elon likes the damn stuff.

While travelling to Mars your ship caught an asteroid belt the size of Jupiter and you didn’t see it, why didn’t you see it? Well you bought the cheap GPS navigation system that you had to install yourself because your ex wife Lucinda took all your money in the divorce.

She always said you were lazy, but now, well, you fucked up. Your ship got damaged and you had to do a crash landing on the closest planet. You swerve and press a million buttons while praying to the flying spaghetti monster and BAM, you crash land on the closest planet you could find.

Upon entering the atmosphere your ship shred to pieces and a massive piece of the ship sliced into your leg exposing the bone. You do what you can to stop the bleeding.

After a few minutes of struggling you figure out how to make a tourniquet and stent for your leg. Suddenly you hear extremely loud noises and lights all around your broken ship. Someone is talking but it sounds like an animal more than a human. The sound gets louder and louder.

Next thing you know, the metals pieces get ripped from your ship exposing you to a bright light and you pass out from all the blood loss.

You wake up on a cold concrete slab. As you open your eyes you realise the truth, Aliens. Fucking Aliens. The lights and the sounds were aliens. You look around scared and jump up. The Aliens gets a fright and they all stand together trying to show you that they mean you no harm. They are there to help. You landed on a civilized Alien races planet. They have primitive technology, but they are far from unintelligent.

You realise this is a hospital, as you look down you see they have been trying to figure out what to do with your leg. By this time, you are close to needing an amputation as the flesh have already started rotting. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UNCONSCIOUS.

Now my friends, this is the part where I can help you. If you ever find yourself in this situation. Find yourself a Veterinarian. NOT a DOCTOR.

I don’t know how you are going to do it, and explain it but your best chance of survival is with a Veterinarian. Their doctors are going to be giving only species-specific care for their race and that will be what they know. While vets are going to have a broad-spectrum knowledge base to make sense of your unusual human anatomy.

Think about it, our vets, you name it and they do it. They adapt, they adjust, they succeed regardless of the anatomy or the injury. Sure human doctors are great but an alien doctor versus and alien veterinarian? 100% more likely to survive with a Vet.

Safe travels. Good luck. Buy the proper GPS and avoid asteroid belts.

Thank you for reading… #TheSomethingGuy #SouthAfrica #Blog

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