Someone else’s happiness is not your responsibility

I am not responsible for someone else’s happiness.

I am not responsible for someone else’s happiness.

Saying it twice, for those in the back to hear and for all the voices in my head to hear as well. Happiness is something that you yourself can create for yourself and it should be a priority in your life. Without happiness, life can be quite dreadful, but for some odd reason, we as humans tend to believe that others happiness will bring us happiness. However, I disagree that it would. Not real happiness. Not numbing euphoria of happiness where you feel guilt-free and just enjoy it. No, others happiness can influence yours yes but not bring you your own. That is something you will always have to make and create all on your own.

If you are not happy with your own life choices and circumstances and are able to find and create your own happiness, how is someone else’s joy going to bring you joy? I’m talking real joy here. Not some made-up Instagram friendly, TikTok 20 second make-belief joy of fantasy.

Happiness is your own responsibility.

So you had a bad childhood? Still your own responsibility.

You hear people commenting on your looks? Still your own responsibility.

You don’t have the money, the educational background, the understanding, the motivation, the passion blah blah blah… your voices are working overtime in your head again… Still your own responsibility.

We believe that we are responsible for those close and near to us. Our friends, are they happy? Our family members? Our spouses? Why are we to be held responsible for someone else’s thoughts and actions with the measurement of happiness?

What is the measurement anyways? Try not to die? Smile a lot? A warm fuzzy feeling? A content feeling?

Regardless of how you might measure happiness, it is still not your responsibility to make other people happy. If the person does not want to embrace their own life, with all of its flaws, with all of its joys, with all of what is to come… why and how are you then the dedicated happiness police that needs to intervene to teach them about happiness and how to get it?

We take our own happiness, we hit it with a broomstick, we drive over it with a car, we leave it out in the winter, we spill our adult beverages all over it (and our salty tears) but then we think, Nah that’s just fine cause so and so is happy, I brought them happiness. I was kind and loving, and I showed them how to better themselves. I gave them a home or I borrowed them the money they needed.

Uhm, no. You pro-longed their unhappiness with temporary comfort that in return shortens your own happiness as you weren’t really paying attention to yourself. YOU ARE NOTE A HAPPINESS POLICE.

Some people simply do not understand this.

You can give and give and give and they will take and take and take and once you stop giving the other party will become angry because why? They were always allowed to take without any consequences.

Do not give parts of your soul away just like that. Do not time after time force yourself into others’ lives and sit with a hero mentality believing that “you did the right thing”.

Everyone has the ability to create their own happiness. Everyone also has the ability to destroy their own happiness. But, you should not destroy your own happiness to make-up for other peoples lack thereof.

Take care of your own well-being. You are with yourself for your entire life. Love yourself. Cherish every moment and respect every moment of your being. Do not feel guilty when you have to break away because someone else simply feels entitled to parts of you that you don’t ever get to see yourself anymore.

Again, say this with me: “I am not responsible for someone else’s happiness.”

Thank you for reading… #TheSomethingGuy #SouthAfrica #Blog

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