Condoms. Everything You Need To Know.

Condoms can induce giggles in just about any crowd. What other objects can be used either to make balloon animals or to prevent pregnancy? I mean, do you remember in sex education classes in school, the mere word condoms being said out loud would send teenagers into a fit of nervous laughter. Condoms are such a simple to use invention however it can be so intriguing and simply said, mystifying when it is first removed from its often so shiny packaging.

Have you ever bought any at a shop and it feels like the entire store comes to a shutdown and everyone is getting ready to stare at you? No? Only me? So many people still feel embarrassed to buy the cock sock, yes that is a slang term for a condom. Or what about the cum catcher, the dinger, the Jimmie or the love glove. Whatever you prefer calling it, it serves an extremely important purpose.

Firstly, it protects you from pregnancies.

Secondly, it protects you from STD’s and reduces your risk of contracting HIV.

Thirdly, they can be a heck of a lot of fun. Ever tried a glow in the dark one or a flavoured, ribbed, fragrance condom?

Also, did you know that condoms actually have a shelf life and that the worst place to carry a condom is in your back pocket or your wallet? (yes movies have lied to you!)

Well, I have decided to tell you a bit more about condoms, let’s break the stigma a bit here and have an open and honest conversation about condoms so you can wrap your willy and act all silly.

First thing, do you know how to put on a condom?

Condoms have been around as far back as 3000 years when the ancient Egyptians used them. Although, their condoms were quite different from ours. The Egyptians used condoms constructed from animal gut or fish membranes. Egyptian men also wore coloured condoms to distinguish social status within their hierarchy.

Painting from Ancient Egypt depicting condom use (Image.

Then you had the Asian dynasty that was a bit crazier and they used tortoise shells or animal horns for condoms. They called them Kabuta-Gata. Or they would simply use a paper silk type condom that only covered the tip of the man’s member. Using a tortoise shell, or simply covering the tip, both seem a bit silly now but it sure made sense to them back then.

By the 1840s, condoms were made of vulcanized rubber and could be washed and reused. Then came latex and the disposable condom. In fact, modern condoms should be removed immediately after ejaculation and disposed of properly, which means not in the toilet.

Fun Fact:

The oldest, still existing, condom is from 1640 and was found in England.

The condom is made out of sheep’s intestines. It was reusable and it came with the owner manual in Latin, the universal language at the time.

Instructions said men should wash the condom in warm milk to prevent the passing of syphilis. wow…

Also, ever wondered why condoms are called condoms? No one knows for sure. The Myth starts that it comes from Doctor Condum who was commissioned by King Charles II in the 17th century to find protection for his sailors and soldiers who were from dying from venereal diseases. Can only imagine what the sailors were getting up too, so surely this was a massive concern for the King. No records of the actual existence of Doctor Condom exist. It is speculated that the Doctor changed his name to escape the embarrassment of his legacy.

What is known is that ‘condum’ a different kind of spelling of the word condom, was first penned in a poem in 1706 and, later, ‘condon’ turned up in a literary journal in 1709.

The rest of the time, the humble condom has been known by many different names, such as the male sheath, gloves, armour, the English riding coat, French letter and machine.

In the 1990s major improvement in laser and latex technology improved the quality of latex condoms. Polyurethane condoms were made. This allowed those with sex allergies to enjoy sex without suffering from irritation.

Today, condoms are widely used and easily accessible. More than 20 billion condoms are used every year.

Watch this quick recap of the history of condoms:

No matter the size of the man and his member, or the girth for that matter. Condoms can have you covered since there is such an extensive selection to choose from in today’s society.

So to all the boys and men out there,

Don’t make a mistake, muzzle your snake.

If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

No glove, no love. Stay SAFE.

Thank you for reading… #TheSomethingGuy #SouthAfrica

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: